


In Hell I'll Be in Good Company

by SarahchaSauce



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Depressed Uchiha Sasuke, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Naruto is Just Naruto, Other Characters Briefly Mentioned - Freeform, Self-Indulgent, creds to AJ for inspo, dumb boys taking a bath together, i don't even know what this is, i guess, implied suicidal thoughts, kinda based on a rp, naruto holds him, sasuke cries a lot, sasuke is emo, they both have their arms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-25 04:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30083520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahchaSauce/pseuds/SarahchaSauce
Summary: "It'd be better if I did die," Sasuke muttered after a long moment, his voice raw and hoarse after having not spoken in so long.Naruto furrowed his brow, a telltale sign that he was about to counter Sasuke's statement, so Sasuke spoke before he had the chance. "Why do you—" he cut himself off and took in a sharp breath, silently cursing himself for the way his hands began to tremble. Suddenly, his voice dropped to a whisper as he continued, "why can't you just give up on me?"//or; sasuke is madly in love with naruto but doesn't think he deserves him, so he locks himself in his apartment. naruto doesn't like that.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well howdy. this is pretty much just a self indulgent fic that's based on a rp I'm doing with my friend (love u AJ<3)
> 
> there's probably some typos in here but I don't care anymore. live fast, die young, skate fast, eat ass.

It had been just over six months since the war ended, and three months since Sasuke was released from prison. That's not to say he was a completely free man— he was aware of the ANBU spies that followed his every move, and he wouldn't be allowed to leave the village for at least another year. If he were to be honest, Sasuke would much rather he still be locked away in the freezing, dark prison cell than in his small apartment.

In fact, he was almost positive he'd be sentenced to death; that's what he deserved after everything he'd done. He should have known that Naruto would never allow that to happen, not after everything he'd gone through just to bring him back to the village. At his trial, Naruto was one of the few people who argued in his defense and ultimately, it was his persistence (and threats) that earned Sasuke a much shorter sentence than what had initially been proposed.

Not even Sakura had shown up to his trial— not that he'd expected her to, anyway. He shouldn't have been surprised by Naruto's appearance, yet each time he was brought into the courtroom, Naruto was there, always giving him that same anxious yet reassuring smile that made Sasuke's heart ache. How could he _still_ defend him even after all he'd done? Naruto should have hated him.

Sasuke wasn't allowed visitors while he was imprisoned, yet _, of course,_ Naruto still found his way in. For the entire three months, he was confined to the small cell, Naruto visited him for hours each day. Sasuke rarely spoke to him— despite Naruto's constant chatter— but as much as he hated to admit it, his presence alone comforted him. Something about just being _near_ Naruto always seemed to make Sasuke feel safe. He eventually realized that Konoha wasn't his home; _Naruto_ was his home. 

Hence why Sasuke had completely avoided his best friend ever since he'd been released from prison. For the first two months, Naruto attempted to visit him at his apartment, but Sasuke never answered the door; instead, he often found himself crouched against the wall with his head in his hands, nearly ripping out his own hair. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to see Naruto— it was quite the opposite, really. Sasuke wanted so desperately to see him, to have him by his side constantly even as he sat in silence... but he couldn't allow himself any form of comfort. Specifically, he couldn't allow himself to keep being such a burden to Naruto.

After two months had passed, Naruto's visits became less and less frequent, and eventually, he hadn't come by in over two weeks. Although Sasuke had never acknowledged his presence openly, he hadn't realized how much he _needed_ to simply hear his voice each day. It _killed_ him to push Naruto away once again, but it was what he had to do. He didn't deserve him; nothing he could ever do would ever make him deserve Naruto. 

As the two weeks without a single visit from Naruto progressed, Sasuke nearly completely stopped caring for himself; it'd been days since he'd eaten, and god knows how long it had been since he'd last showered. He simply had no motivation to _live_ anymore, not without Naruto by his side. He hated himself for how much he depended on him— hadn't he already burdened him enough? 

The two weeks passed painfully slow, and Sasuke realized he had hardly moved from his couch in days. With no contact with the outside world for so long, he'd grown accustomed to only hearing the sound of his own breathing.

Which explained why he'd jumped at the sound of someone banging on his door.

The banging was much more aggressive than Naruto had ever dared when he'd visited, and for a brief moment, Sasuke feared that it was someone else. However, the instant he heard his best friend's voice, he suddenly felt lighter; as if a ton of bricks had been lifted from his chest. Without giving himself a second to think about it, he stood and unlocked the door, slowly cracking it open to allow Naruto to come inside.

***

There were a lot of things Naruto was persistent in— his outlook on life reflected that. There were very few people who he’d given up on, but the one person he knew he could never, _ever_ let go of was Sasuke. 

Day in and day out it seemed the only thing that was on his mind was _Sasuke_. So much so that he’d managed to sneak his way into the cold, dark prison cell just to see him. “Doesn't everyone deserve at least _someone_ to talk to, regardless of their crimes?” He’d pleaded to Kakashi, remaining persistent until the Rokudaime finally relented. 

Just the knowledge that Sasuke was in the village— that he was _home_ — finally brought him the resolution that he sought after when he left. 

The one negative thing that seemed to plague his mind was the fact that Sasuke seemingly wanted nothing to do with him. Naruto always had enough energy to talk for the both of them and never expected a response in return. Day after day, Naruto put up with Sasuke’s refusal to speak, and he’d accepted the man’s occasional sighs and eye rolls as _some_ kind of response. 

All he wanted was for Sasuke to know that he wasn't alone. To let him know being home meant something… that it meant _everything_ to Naruto just to have him there by his side.

When the time came that he was _finally_ released and Sasuke wasn't forced to sit in a cell while Naruto prattled on, it became near impossible for the blonde to see him. For nearly three months, Naruto insisted on knocking on the raven’s door, eventually resorting to standing outside for hours while begging to just _talk_ to him. He could just kick the the door in, but that would be disrespecting Sasuke’s privacy. As much as the thought pained him, he had to accept that Sasuke just didn’t want to see him. 

Stubbornly, Naruto decided Sasuke would have to leave sometime to get food, water, or… _something_ , damnit. He couldn’t stay locked inside forever.

But Sasuke had never gone out. Questions of whether the townspeople have seen Sasuke were always answered with a _no_ and after two agonizingly long weeks, Naruto had had enough of his bullshit. The sadness he’d felt had changed to anger over time, which is how he found himself outside Sasuke’s apartment once again, this time with his fist pounding against his door. 

If Sasuke wasn't going to talk to him, he at least had to do the bare minimum and live.

Naruto had stomped all the way to his door, knocking as loud as he possibly could upon his arrival— just to get no response. He knocked even louder, almost convinced that maybe he should just kick the door down.

"Sasuke, open the door or I am breaking in!" Naruto yelled out with a huff. The slow trudge of footsteps could be heard as he finally opened the door. He let out a sigh of relief when he finally saw Sasuke's tired and disheveled face looking back at him. Just the sight of the Uchiha brought him comfort that was quickly replaced with concern. He pushed past him into his home, grasping his shirt in his fist and tugging at it. "Do you want to wither away and die, teme? Why haven't you gone out to eat? Why haven't you spoken to anyone?"

Naruto let out a frustrated growl, glaring at his silent best friend.

"Is this some cruel joke? Did you just want to see how far you could push me?" He muttered after once again receiving no response. "What is it? Are you just too fucking stubborn?!"

***

Sasuke braced himself for the inevitable lecture he knew he was about to receive, yet he couldn't help but flinch as Naruto yelled at him. Having been completely alone for _weeks_ , suddenly having Naruto yelling in his face was, understandably, unsettling for him. However, he forced himself to open his eyes— which he hadn't realized he'd squeezed shut— and looked his best friend in the eye.

He'd expected to be met with a furious expression, but Naruto looked... _hurt_. Once again, Sasuke had managed to hurt the one and only person he truly cared about, and he hadn't even had to interact with him this time. It dawned on him at that moment: no matter what he did, his mere _existence_ would always continue to hurt Naruto. "It'd be better if I did die," Sasuke muttered after a long moment, his voice raw and hoarse after having not spoken in so long.

Naruto furrowed his brow, a telltale sign that he was about to counter Sasuke's statement, so Sasuke spoke before he had the chance. "Why do you—" he cut himself off and took in a sharp breath, silently cursing himself for the way his hands began to tremble. Suddenly, his voice dropped to a whisper as he continued, "why can't you just give up on me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be adding more to this soon don't worry! i can't promise regular updates bc I'm in my senior year of college and when I'm not working or in class, I'm usually stress-drinking. 
> 
> cheers xoxo, sarah<3


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto searched the Uchiha’s dark eyes in hopes of finding _some_ kind of answer, but all he was greeted with was the man’s closed eyes. Naruto softened his voice, though it was still louder than normal. He gazed into his eyes when he finally opened them, trying to read whatever emotion it was that he’d been suppressing.

As for himself? The anger, the hole that seemed to never be filled from missing him every day, and just the sheer concern he felt in regard to his best friend’s well being overwhelmed him as he tightened his grip on his shirt.

Why didn't Sasuke stay? Why couldn't he just fucking _talk_ to him?

"Is it really so easy for you to just accept me not being in your life?" He blurted out, looking the brunette in the eye. At this rate, there was no point in hiding how hurt he was by Sasuke’s actions. They were supposed to be best friends… _soulmates_ , even. Being open with one another was only fair.

Naruto's heart dropped to his stomach at what Sasuke had said. Just the mere _idea_ of losing Sasuke nearly made him nauseous. Worried blue eyes bored into obsidian ones, taking note of the way Sasuke struggled to find the right words to say. The Uchiha didn’t speak much; Naruto knew that better than anyone, and he knew how important each thing he _did_ say must be. However, he couldn’t keep listening to the man he loved degrading himself for any longer.

Sasuke was trembling in Naruto’s grasp, displaying a weakness Naruto had never witnessed from him before. 

"You are my best friend, Sasuke. You get me." The blonde spoke softly, treading carefully with each word he said. He took a deep breath as he shook his head quickly, "I have fought for so long just to have you here. You’re just gonna give up like this? Someone has to believe in you, damnit! I believe in you even if you don't." 

Naruto, ever so easily distracted, scrunched his nose and cocked his head to the side. "Have you not taken a shower recently?" he asked, then shook his head in an attempt to ignore his outburst. 

"Why won't you just understand you're my best friend? That I'm here for you... no matter what."

***

_Is it really so easy for you to just accept me not being in your life?_

That sentence alone had Sasuke’s world crumbling around him. In reality, he felt the exact opposite of that; no matter what he did or where he went, he knew how desperately he _needed_ Naruto in his life... and it _terrified_ him. 

“Naruto, I-“ he began, only for Naruto to tighten his grip on his shirt and continue speaking. It didn’t matter how many times he told Sasuke that he cared for him, that he was his best friend... Sasuke couldn’t accept it. He didn’t _deserve_ to accept it. 

“Because I don’t deserve you.” He whispered, his voice barely audible. It was probably the most honest statement he’d ever uttered to Naruto, despite how desperately he’d tried to shut him out. It was the truth; Naruto deserved _so much better_ than him. “After everything I’ve done... you’re better off without me.”

The man’s question in regard to his hygiene caught Sasuke off guard and he furrowed his brow before hesitantly shaking his head. How long _had_ it been since he’d last showered? The days had begun to morph into each other, and eventually, he’d completely lost track of time. 

“No... not in a while.” He muttered.

***

"This isn't how it is supposed to go, bastard. We were supposed to be together on Team 7. We were supposed to grow together." Naruto frowned. "You were a big part of my life and still are so why would you—” He cut himself off as soon as Sasuke spoke.

" _You_ don't deserve _me_? How did you even come to that conclusion?" Naruto grimaced, his voice rising as a combination of both anger and confusion overtook him once again. "I am not better off without you. Why do you think I worked so fucking hard to find you? To bring you back? To fight you?" 

"You think it’s so easy to go from not having you with me for all these years and missing you every goddamn second to finally having you here and being shut out? Fuck, Sasuke! You’re so close but I can't even talk to you!" 

Naruto’s voice broke slightly on his last word, his chest heaving as he spat out the emotions he hadn’t realized he’d been keeping inside. He thought he’d feel relieved having expressed to Sasuke how much it hurt to not have him by his side, but instead the weight on his chest only grew heavier. 

A heavy silence filled the room, the only thing breaking it being both of the men’s shaky breathing. Finally, Naruto composed himself enough to shake his head, "Maybe your mood will change once you take a shower and we get something to eat." 

***

Suddenly, Sasuke’s legs felt weak— most likely due to his lack of food and sleep over the past few days. Without thinking, he raised his hand to grip Naruto’s shoulder, partially to hold himself up, but also just to _touch_ him. “I-... I’m sorry.” He whispered, closing his eyes once again.

It wasn’t often that Sasuke Uchiha dared to utter the word _’sorry’_ , but if anyone deserved an apology from him, he knew without a doubt that it was Naruto. He tightened his grip on his best friend’s shoulder and leaned his head forward, taking in a shuddered breath. “All I do is hurt you...”

He lifted his head at Naruto’s suggestion, then exhaled heavily. “I don’t have the energy to shower.” He mumbled.

***

Without even thinking about it, Naruto instinctively placed his hand on top of Sasuke’s as his other arm wrapped around his waist to support him.

_’I… I’m sorry.’_

The blonde couldn’t even bring himself to speak. Sasuke Uchiha _never_ apologized; it was just a known fact. But… hearing the words leave the man’s dry lips, paired with unsteady breathing made Naruto want to completely break down. He squeezed the pale hand that was beneath his and nuzzled his nose into his thick hair. He didn’t know what to do other than to just... hold him. 

“Sasuke...” Naruto breathed. 

“Teme… you need to shower or... something. Come on, I’ll help you.” He muttered against Sasuke’s hair, holding onto him while unsure of what to do… how to react.

***

Sasuke’s heart nearly leapt into his throat as Naruto placed his hand atop his, and his breath hitched in his throat at the feeling of his arm around his waist. He couldn’t help but lean into his embrace, his free hand slowly moving to rest on the man’s hip. He bit the inside of his bottom lip and focused his eyes on Naruto’s shoulder, not daring to meet his gaze.

“I have a bathtub,” Sasuke muttered in response, then cringed slightly at how awkward the statement sounded once he’d said it aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the kinda abrupt ending lmao I'm still editing the next part
> 
> pls let me know what y'all think and if you're enjoying this!! comments are always appreciated!!
> 
> xoxo, sarah<3


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto was unsure of how to react with how easily Sasuke leaned into his hold; the way his hand rested on his hip as if it was meant to be there. Right then, he feared that any sudden movement he made would scare the Uchiha away as if he were a frightened animal. He couldn’t help it— he’d never seen Sasuke look so vulnerable before. The last thing he wanted to do was break his trust.

A pink flush spread across his cheeks at the mention of the bathtub, though he wasn’t sure why such a simple statement had him so flustered. After clearing his throat, Naruto simply nodded. 

“I would hope you do.” He muttered with a slight hint of sarcasm in his tone, gently pulling him forward. It took him a moment, but he quickly realized that he hadn’t ever been inside Sasuke’s new apartment and had no idea where the bathroom was. 

“Uh… where is it?” He asked with an awkward laugh.

Naruto wasn’t sure _why_ he was so insistent on helping Sasuke. He had every right to leave. He had every goddamn right to walk out the door right then… but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. All he could see was that his best friend, the man he loved more than _anything,_ was suffering and that he wanted him by his side more than anything.

Right then, the only thing that mattered to Naruto was Sasuke.

***

Sasuke subconsciously squeezed Naruto’s waist and momentarily leaned his head against his shoulder, exhaling against his neck. Finally, he lifted his head and met Naruto’s eyes, his heart beating rapidly as he realized how close they were.

“Follow me,” he replied, reluctantly stepping out of his hold. Despite moving away from him, Sasuke found himself blindly reaching for the blonde’s hand.

***

Naruto felt like every touch was something to be relished. It was rare for him to ever have this much physical contact with Sasuke aside from when they fought. The way Sasuke gently squeezed his hip nearly made him melt _,_ but the feeling of his warm breath against his neck sent chills up his spine. 

The moment was over all too soon and Naruto frowned as Sasuke stepped away from him, but still followed close behind him. Pale fingers brushed against his and startled him, making him pull his hand back slightly. 

_‘Fucking moron!’_ he thought, grimacing at his own actions. _‘Why do I always have to be so nervous around him?’_

***

Sasuke frowned and grabbed Naruto’s hand, firmly interlocking their fingers as he dragged them towards his bathroom. He wasn’t sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he wasn’t complaining; after all, he’d been in love with Naruto for _years_ , despite the fact that he’d only come to that conclusion recently.

Once they reached the bathroom, Sasuke shut the door behind them and leaned against the wall, reluctantly releasing Naruto’s hand from his grasp. He nodded towards his bathtub. If he weren’t so emotionally and physically drained, he would have drawn the bath himself and allowed Naruto to stay in the living room, however, he hardly had the energy or motivation to stand.

***

Just as he was getting lost in his own thoughts, he heard Sasuke scoff. Suddenly snapped out of his trance, Naruto looked up just as Sasuke grabbed his hand. Although it definitely wasn’t the best response, he couldn’t help but let out a quiet chuckle, suddenly unable to wipe the smile from his lips. 

Sasuke glanced at him over his shoulder and raised an elegant eyebrow, but Naruto couldn’t miss the slight curve of his lips as their eyes met. He squeezed the brunette’s hand gently in acknowledgment, which, to his surprise, caused Sasuke to ever so slightly tighten his grip.

The soft click of the door closing behind them had Naruto’s heart pounding in his chest. In an attempt to keep himself grounded, he looked into Sasuke's dark eyes and gently let go of his hand, just to rest it on his shoulder. 

“I got it, teme,” he spoke softly, “just sit down and I’ll draw the bath for you.” 

With that, he squeezed Sasuke’s shoulder and busied himself with drawing the bath, forcing his attention to the temperature of the water.

***

Sasuke squeezed his best friend’s hand before releasing it, letting out a soft breath as he did so. 

He watched as Naruto began to run the bath for him, a small smile forming on his lips. Though he’d never admit it out loud, his heart swelled at the sight of the blonde doing so much to help him. Eventually, he stripped himself of his clothes and walked past Naruto and got into the tub, submerging himself into the hot water. 

Sasuke couldn’t determine _why_ exactly, but the sight of his best friend sitting beside his bathtub, after doing so much to help him... it broke him. He sat in the tub for a few minutes before silent tears began to run down his face, and he bit back a quiet sob.

***

Naruto crouched down by the bath, regularly dipping his hand into the water to check the temperature. “I hope the water is hot enough,” He commented awkwardly, looking at the water for a moment before registering the rustling of Sasuke’s clothing hitting the floor.

_Shit._

The idea of Sasuke being completely naked in front of him was nothing new; after years of bathing together along with the other teams, he’d become desensitized to it. However, being alone with a naked Sasuke… in _Sasuke’s apartment_ , was a completely different scenario. 

As quickly as his head snapped up, he looked away after only catching a mere glimpse of Sasuke’s toned body. With his cheeks burning red, Naruto cleared his throat. 

“Sasuke. What are you doing?” The Uzumaki’s voice was strained despite his efforts to compose himself. He trained his eyes on the wall as Sasuke got into the bathtub, only feeling a little bit relaxed once the man was fully submerged in the water.

There was a tense silence for a moment, Naruto’s eyes still glued to the wall as Sasuke sat in the tub, but the sound of the Uchiha’s shaky breathing snapped Naruto back to reality.

In a panic, he looked to his friend and leaned in closer, only then noticing the tears rolling down his pale cheeks. 

Naruto’s heart broke at the sight. “Teme… What is it?” He asked, resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

***

Sasuke closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath as tears rolled down his pale cheeks. He didn’t dare look at Naruto; if he did, he was sure he’d start sobbing. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists by his side, his nails digging into his palm. “Why... why do you care about me?” He whispered, a choked sob leaving his lips.

Sasuke suddenly lifted his head and stared into Naruto’s eyes, unable to control his sobs anymore. “I-... all I do is hurt you... all I fucking do is _hurt you_ but you’re still here,” he sobbed, his entire body trembling as he spoke. “Why do you waste your time on me? You-... you deserve so much better than me. I’m not good enough for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am once again asking for ur support in the form of comments or whatever. it's 12:57am and I have to be up at 6. send help.
> 
> xoxo, sarah<3


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